I’ve been sleeping quite well, you might like to know… In retrospect, I believe that part of my restlessness last week was unacknowledged nerves about a difficult meeting I had at work two days after I had the sleepless night. That’s not to discount my earlier reflection by any means…just a little more to add the the picture.

I have always disliked Adam from the Bible because he wanted an Eve when he had GOD (!) Who walked in the gardens with him. Until I realized very recently that God did not merely make us spirit; He made us flesh as well. And therefore we will always have physical needs, too. I’m not even referring to the sexual ~ though of course, that too ~ but the very real need to wake up with someone behind your back, or a shoulder to lean against.

And I think He understands very well when we long for a mate of our own, no matter how glorious our communion with Him sometimes is.

For myself, now that I am single, I desperately and deeply desire that awareness of His closeness. And though I still work through the emotional residue left by the break-up, I still sometimes long for a mate.

Do I have second thoughts about taking one road instead of the other? Oh, for sure! Battling regret is one of my most insidious and most constant struggles.

I learn a lot. And that is what this journey here is all about, isn’t it?

I hope you have found peace again.

Love,
Pippa

Your post reminds me of a friend who is dead now. She died of cancer nearly two years ago at the age of 58 or 59. She was single, a translator for the UN. She told me several times that she had not received a call to celibacy. She did not want to be single. She wanted to be in a relationship with someone she would love and who would love her. She shared her anger at God for giving her something she did not want. Unwanted celibacy was very difficult for her. Funny, how some friends never die somehow

I need to think about it! It opens up so much in me … heavy stuff.

Just know that I SO know what you’re talking about. Be embraced!